The Male Stare-Off

It happens sometimes, very interesting thing.Not to be confused with The Mexican Standoff. You don't really know how its going to unfold. Uncomfortable at times. Hilarious at times. Weird looks, looks that take too long, eye to eye contact with little or no substance, inspiration, or justification. Like the band Creed..It's just messed up, man. The Male Stare-Off...So I found myself at Kroger one night.I'm not usually a Kroger Enthusiast, but it was late and Publix had closed. I'm in the self checkout line, waiting to check out myself..I mean check myself out..ahhh shit....not gonna win this sentence.

Anyways, I'm standing there, and this shorter, mousy lookin' dude walks into the store with a sidekick. They walk by all of the self check-outers, like a red carpet had just rolled out through the linolium coverd floors of the store, and the Kings of Kroger were home again. As the mousy one got closer to me, I noticed his "air of Krogerness". Seriously, he had it. He owned it. It was beautiful..

So I've been under the no talking diet now, and it has consequently made me notice more about peoples' actions, facial expressions, body language,etc. In addition, my time to look at these crazy humans has increased. Well, Prince Kroger threw a glance my way, just as I was taking in all of the grandeur that was in front of me. He saw that my eyes were noticing every little bit of the kroger strut, the kroger "look", and maybe if I'm lucky, obtaining my very own personal "kroger sidekick". All of these thoughts were sarcastically streaming through my head and my eyes were obviously the TV through which he could watch and see how his reflection looks in the eyes of ....well...me. I immediately sensed his disappoval of my optical opinions..I did not budge from them..they were confirmed, stamped, and self approved, all the while my eyes kept showing him that.

Didn't really mean for all of this to happen. Before I couldn't talk, I never really paid much attention to folks. Now its like a whole new way of seeing things. He got within a foot of me and finally felt like communicating. Not optically. He unevenly finishes his walk and stare pony show, looks away from me and says, "What's up man." I graciously reciprocated with "What's up."...And that's all it was. A good old-fashioned male stare-off..Just plain ridiculous. Didn't know what to take from it. A good friend once told me "Noticing is good. Even when what you're looking at isn't." Good Bye Kroger King..you were good..well played..well played.....just messed up, man..