Vespucci DID beat Columbus..he drew a map...salied all over the place...has a couple of continents named for him...but did Vespucci ever get Amerigo Vespucci Day? Heck No.. Columbus has a day. MLK has a Day. The Two Headed Monster that is Santa Claus and Jesus have a Day(they have a hard time sharing it seems these days).
No, that is not a former president in the picture. If you think it is a former president..then stop sniffing the gorilla glue you bought at the President's Day Sale at the grocery store.. Please don't get confused..I'll get to that in a moment.
Which leads me to the day we celebrated yesterday. Does anyone know why we celebrate it in February? Oh yeah, because it's always on George Washington's Birthday!
Actually, its not on his birthday.... As a matter of fact, its never on his birthday. Ever...Poor Georgie...it actually comes very close, but never lands on it, like an asymptote. Or your shadow ...or those two hands in the Sistene Chaple(Hand of God giving Life to Adam)..or those two hands in the Subway five dollar footlong commercials...they never touch...OK.. that was bad..But you get the point.
Washington's Birthday is actually...Right Now! Happy Birthday George! It's a shame since the 3rd Monday always falls between Feb 15 and the 21st...but never gets to the 22nd...Unbelievable! Come On!!
He doesn't even get a week..6 days, thats it. All dead celebrities get a week on TBS....Elvis( he gets it twice a year since he's The King), The Duke, Phil Donahue..wait...he's not dead...is he?.or at least I hope he's not..What a piece of work...what the heck happened to him anyways? Great hair...legendary temper tantrums...those glasses..great topics like "What happens when "Bonnie and Clyde" turn out to be "Bonnie and Bonnie" - Lesbian Bandits!!" Priceless. They should at least bring him back for a gameshow or something. Maybe American Idol..Shopping Network..Weather Channel...Viagra commercials...plenty of options for PD.. Lets get Phil to run for President! Donahue all the way in 2012...dead or alive..
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